As I watched this incredibly challenging and encouraging video of Matt Chandler discussing where he’s at with his sudden fight with a brain tumor, I felt such simultaneous heartache and joy seeing this warrior of our faith stand firm in Christ. Matt has had such a huge impact on me from afar, I’ve never met him or even seen him in person, but his impact on my faith cannot be overstated. It’s humbling to hear his words, it’s encouraging to see him live it out and it’s incredibly moving to see the love and wisdom shared through his family.

For those of you who don’t know, Matt Chandler is pastor of The Village Church and fellow member of the Acts 29 Network. According to the latest updates Matt is doing well, is out of the ICU and results should be back from tests on the tumor in the middle of this week.

As some of you may or may not know, I am currently looking for work and have been for the past month. This is the second year in a row I’ve been jobless over Thanksgiving and now possibly Christmas. Last year was extremely difficult for me, but God was faithful and through that season I learned so much. I feel better prepared this time around, though unemployment is still not enjoyable, I know God is in control.

Before I go any further I feel I must say, there are many people in far worse situations than I. My intention is not to draw attention to myself, but hopefully encourage those struggling with unemployment as I know many who are. Even inside of A29 recently 2 stories have brought my suffering into harsh context, Matt Chandler’s brain tumor and the suicide of A29 pastor Thomas Young. Locally in Phoenix the McRae’s are still battling brain cancer with their daughter Kate. So please, pray for them and their families. Here was my prayer to Jesus this morning that hopefully may encourage others who find themselves in a similar position.

1 Timothy 6:6-8
“Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment,
for we brought nothing into this world,
and we cannot take anything out of the world.
But if we have food and clothing,
with these things we will be content.”

Jesus I am content with You.
Though much has been lost
and my mind worries about provision,
I know You are good and all I need.

I pray that you’d put my spirit at ease
and my mind at rest
You have never forsaken me,
never left me alone.
You are my creator, sustainer and eternal hope.

I pray for my family,
that you would give them peace and trust,
and your love for them would be a shelter.
During this Christmas season I pray for my children.
God that they’d treasure you as their Savior above all,
give me grace and wisdom in how to father them.

Finally I pray that you’d open doors for me.
Give me wisdom on what jobs to apply for.
Grant me favor in the eyes of hiring managers.
I ask these things with all humility.
Never the less, not my will but yours be done.

Amen.

I was sitting on my porch talking Jesus with a dear friend of mine who’s in a real life struggle. He turned and asked me a simple question that struck me as deeply profound, he asked “Why do you follow Jesus? Why?” See my friend, let’s call him Steve, knows how hard this life is as a disciple of Christ, I could hear the pain of that question in his voice. His entire walk has been a battle, a war in the trenches. It was as real of a life/ministry/discipleship moment I think I’ve had.

I had to really search my heart for an answer. My answer in short was, “Because God’s grace has impacted me to the point where I see and desire no other way. There aren’t any other options.” Really that’s what it’s boiled down to. I serve, follow and love Jesus because his grace has chased me down, replaced my heart and now I see my life in context to how it fits in and serves his kingdom. I love how Paul puts it in 1 Corinthians 15:10

“But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace towards me was not in vain.”

As Steve’s follow up questions probed deeper, “Why do you sacrifice for this? Why allow yourself to be broken?” it became clearer and clearer that my life makes no sense outside of grace.

I don’t know why I’d sacrifice as much as I have, why I desire God to break me down, it’s just crazy really. There is no logic behind it, there is no formula, there is no global earthly reward I could point to that could explain why this life made sense. There is a great level of foolishness here that can’t be avoided, nor do I want to avoid it. Because as I explained to Steve, God’s grace does not compute in our brains, the math doesn’t work. Works makes sense, or as Matt Chandler brilliantly puts it, moralistic deism. That makes sense, you do good and you get good back. Do bad and you get bad back. But I did bad and God showered me with grace and replaced my heart. I received beauty for ashes and gladness for mourning.

Any good that comes out of my life is a reflection of grace poured out. It’s totally changed my heart, my mind and spirit and I can’t point to any 12 step program that makes you earn it or put God in your debt in any way. I don’t know if that comforted Steve or scared him, but it is what I know to be true.

Now I desire to simply place myself in his hands daily and beg him to work with this gross lump of clay. And because he is a good and loving God he does and it doesn’t make earthly sense, but I love him.

Here’s what caught my attention over this week:

• John Piper’s 4 part interview with Matt Chandler. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, Matt Chandler has the highest CWPM(Convicting Words Per Minute) rating out of anyone I’ve heard.
• ChurchCrunch’s 3 tips for not sucking at ‘Christian’ blogging. I can’t say the post is entirely insightful, but there are some good portions. The problem is it makes some big assumptions and oversights, namely assuming that every Christian blogger wants to become a large blog with diverse readership. That overlooks the very nature of niche blogging. You aren’t going to have diverse readership because your content is very narrow. I do talk a lot about non-christian music and topics but it’s always how it relates to or impacts worship.
• Church Soundguy posts on Dynamics 101: Compressor Application Notes. This details compression settings for the most common instruments coming into your board. This blog has some incredibly useful information, I highly recommend checking it out, especially for you sound men.
• TwiTip’s 11 useful twittor tools that don’t require your password. Good list of useful and safe Twitter tools.
• Joel Brown, worship leader and deacon at Mars Hill Church, talks about his decision to get baptized this Easter. Great story.
• Randy Elrod unleashes on Perry Noble’s Unleashed rant. I understand where Randy is coming from and do agree there was a general irreverence present in Perry’s rant. But I don’t necessarily disagree with Perry’s ultimate conclusions, just in how he presented them, the language he used and the audience they were spoken to.

I read a lot of great blogs from some amazing worship leaders, pastors, geeks, you name it. I feel bad hoarding them and not sharing with you all. I want to take each Friday and share the love. So here’s some of what has captured my attention over the last week.

• Pastor In a Box – My friend and pastor’s brother in Dallas is doing this promotion/hype event/joke that is causing quite a stir in the church world. I’ll be honest when I was told about this before it was publicly announced I had a good laugh. Knowing Ben (Pastor Ben Dailey excuse me) it’s just hilarious to me. Pastor Ben Dailey just did an interview with Church Executive Magazine, Church Marketing Sucks had some critique for him, and there’s been a smattering of other blogs chiming in. Ben is an amazing man of God and is doing incredible things over there. Much love.
• Advance ’09 Conference: Resurgence of the Local Church – John Piper, Mark Driscoll, Matt Chandler, Ed Stetzer and more speaking. Nuff said.
• Perry Noble saying he’d like to meet with Matt Chandler and John Piper. Perry did a blog series on 5 leaders he’d like to meet with and it’s quite an eclectic group. I’m encouraged with him including Matt and John.
• Tehilla Music on dealing with worship music complaints in church. Great insight into dealing with people relationally and turning them from complainers into helpers.
• Mark Driscoll Marriage and Men sermon. One of the most challenging, convicting, butt kicking sermons I’ve heard in my life. Every man needs to watch this.

Enjoy.

I’m a sucker for some R&B, I dig John Legend. But the thing about R&B is the lyrics are usually the most blunt, abrasive ways to communicate a story. Metaphors and poetic phrasing are of no use to the R&B community. They just go to the basest level of language to express themselves, which is certainly efficient if not tactful. How else do you explain “I wanna make love in dis club“? Tell me how you really feel Usher.

John Legend has this song called Number One, which is sung from the perspective of a cheating boyfriend basically telling his girlfriend to stop whining about him cheating, in fact the opening line is:

You can’t say I don’t love you just because I cheat on you

I always found the song grossly comedic and had a fun time singing it with my wife in the car in jest. But as I was singing the chorus I got convicted that I’ve sang this same chorus to God many times, with the same pathetically transparent BS that John sings with. Tell me if you’ve ever sung this to God during worship:

You know that I love You
There’s no one above You
I said it the last time, that this is the last time
Don’t make me over
Cuz I can be faithful
You’re my number one, You’re my number one

We carry on “struggling” in sin, willfully choosing ourselves over God throughout the week, walk in on Sunday and sing this weak love song claiming that “this is the last time.” We should stop making promises to God we have no intention or ability to keep. Matt Chandler addresses this topic of “white knuckle struggling” where in our flesh we just grit our teeth and repeatedly promise to never do it again. Only to fail time and time again. But as Paul said in Romans 9:16

“So then it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy.”

How do I need to continue to rest in the Holy Spirit and to continually place myself in his hands to form me and shape me. I can’t do it on my own no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I want it. Religion is a tricky thing, it’s constantly at our heels, presenting itself as some new level of spirituality. Take me back to your heart Jesus, I have no righteousness in myself.