Creflo and Kenny makin the hard sell.

[via FAIL blog]

(Report of original posted in 2008)

There are plenty of lists out there talking about “thanksgiving” worship songs, as in giving thanks to the Lord. That’s all wonderful stuff, but I think the question people are really asking is, what does the church have to sing about the actual Thanksgiving dinner. America has some of the best holidays, and thanksgiving dinner deserves to be sung about. Here are the top 5 worship songs for Thanksgiving dinner:

1. Hungry (Kathryn Scott)

This song is a perfect set opener,  it acknowledges what we’re all here for. We’re hungry and we want turkey, it’s that simple. I think this song captures it perfectly:

Hungry I come to you for I know you satisfy
I am empty but I know your love does not run dry
So I wait for you, so I wait for you

Turkey always satisfies. Nothing better than a moist, properly cooked turkey, so I like the stance of faith this song takes and says, “turkey you will NOT run dry.” Lord knows there is also a lot of waiting, patience is so key on this holy turkey day. I end up repeating that last refrain over and over, “so I wait..for you…so I wait…”

2. O Taste and See (Jenn Johnson)

Romans 1:20 says that “God’s eternal power and divine nature have been clearly perceived since the creation of the world in the things that have been made.” Nowhere is that more clearly seen than in turkey meat. This song challenges us to taste and see God’s goodness, his eternal power and divine nature inside that turkey. And just as Romans says, once we do, we are without excuse.

O taste and see that the Lord is good
O taste and see that the Lord is good to me
You have turned my mourning into dancing put of my rags and clothed with gladness

The “clothing of gladness” sung here is obviously a metaphor for gravy. I love to clothe my entire plate with gladness gravy.

Read the rest of this entry »

My mother purchased this nice little Griffin wireless sound system for her iPod (Evolve). Unfortunately the dock connector broke rendering it pretty much useless. Mom talked with Griffin and their spectacular customer support said. “We’ll replace it. Just destroy the base unit and send us the pics.” Say no more Griffin, these are the kinds of tasks mother’s have sons for. I was born for this, the upward calling of destruction.

I want to get you guys involved, what kind of ideas do you have for destroying it? Set it on fire then drown it, then beat it with a crappy windows laptop? Let’s have it folks, the most creative (workable) idea wins. I’ll document the destruction and give credit where credit is due.

Comment with ideas.

I realized as I was listening to my iTunes on shuffle is that I have some real garbage in there and I don’t know how it got there. My tweet about it got some feedback that I wasn’t the only one with this issue. So I want to know, what tracks in your music collection have you throw up in your mouth a little bit each time it comes on and make you wonder how that sick song crawled into your rotation? The following are the worst 5 songs in my collection and I have no good excuse for why they are in there:

1. Haddaway – What Is Love?

If I were a sketch comedian I might have an excuse. But Night at the Roxbury was cool like what 10 years ago? My only defense is I have this track unchecked. A brief moment of sanity in an otherwise bat crazy decision.

2. Dawn Penn – You Don’t Love Me

Wut the….how the…where the….why is this track within 10 laptops of me? Some one slipped me a rufee and popped this in my iTunes and somehow rigged it so it comes on EVERY TIME I shuffle. There’s only a couple acceptable raggae artists and this isn’t one of them.

3. Dirty Vegas – Days Go By

Ok yeah I get it, it was a big hit for a while. But I never even liked this song. I’m chalking this one up to some friend’s wedding I dj’d and they made a special request. I can’t be held responsible for this.

4. Duncan Sheik – On a High

I must have been on a high when I purchased this one. Yes kids, the evidence comes back this was purchased by me. This proves total human depravity more than any other experiential evidence ever could.

5. Boyz II Men – End of the Road

No this isn’t cool, not even in a reminiscent sense. Confession: I remember playing this in the background as I talked to ladies on the phone when I was in middle school. I was Leon Phelps smooth. Double Halfway confession: I actually did this first in the 5th grade to a much worse song that I will take to the grave. I’ll never tell, my mom reads this blog for heaven’s sake. Mom aren’t you amazed I made it through?

one more as a special bonus…

6. Randy Travis – Open the Eyes of My Heart

If Jesus would have opened the ears of my head up I would have nothing to do with this track. This officially marked Open the Eyes of My Heart covers had run their course. The Randy growl going into the chorus does bring a smile to my face for all the wrong reasons. Lord I apologize, I should have stopped at 5.

Ok so let’s hear it, don’t be embarrassed we all have our musical skeletons in the closet. What’s the worst in your collection?

Pastor Anderson, the “baptist preacher” (quotes intentional) famous for his “pisseth against the wall” and amazing guitar lessons videos, just came out with another brilliant video. This time he tells the story of him getting tazed by border patrol agents after he refused to let them search his car. Can someone please give this guy a reality show? Few things I learned about Pastor Anderson here:

1. He’s just as passionate about his right to be a moron and refuse to follow federal agents instructions as he is about proper male urinating technique.
2. He’s not that tough, that’s not a beating.
3. He drives a car even though cars are not specifically mentioned as profitable in the KJV bible.

UPDATE:

Here’s actual footage of the event.

Calvin would NOT be proud of this.

[via FAILBlog]

This monk figured he’d beat Satan at his own game, a little musical/spiritual jujitsu. The demon scream at the end had Satan wetting himself in fear.

[via BoingBoing]

Here I am in my studio layin down some nasty loops, the paper bag has built in headphones and mic, so that’s pretty handy.

[via FAIL]