Somehow this bottle of magic Miracle Gel came into my possession, don’t ask me how. I can’t believe I’ve lived my life all these years without this incredible product. Apparently it contains the very essence of God itself plus additional natural minerals, organics and eloptic energy(see below) if God’s anointing just isn’t enough for you. Better safe than sorry I suppose. All for the low low price of $16 per bottle! Before you run off an order you own bottle of Miracle II Neutralizer Gel, let me share some priceless details.

You can rest easy because Miracle Gel comes “pH – Supernaturally Balanced“, but the real genius is on the back of the bottle.

Transcript of the ingredients:

Contains: Prayer – Electrically engineered eloptic energized stabilized oxygenated water – Ash of Dedecyl solution – Calcium – Potassium – Magnesium (Carbopol) And the Anointing of God. Miracle II contains and holds spiritual and eloptic energy beyond measure for a miracle for your body.

For those of us who aren’t crazy and didn’t already know, eloptic energy is harvested from the stars. Why settle for anything else really? I demand star power in all my neutralizing gels!

I love auto-tune news, it just never gets old. The original news story is hilarious (no there’s nothing funny about rape, glad the woman is safe and unharmed of course), but the victim’s brother, Antoine Dodson…that guy kills me. Painful laughing. Here’s the slick auto-tune version, with a killer remix at the end.

Also I created a iPhone ringtone from this video, download it and enjoy. Here’s a mp3 version of the ringtone for you non-iPhone peeps.

Nearly wet myself. Ha-larious.

[via FAILblog]

Laugh, cry, throw up…do whatever you think is appropriate in response…in Jesus name of course

[via sahdpdx]

This is the kind of subtle approach I look for in a drummer. Considering adding this to our worship training material.

It’s scary how accurately this portrays my family. I indeed drive a Sienna, ain’t no shame in my game.

But let’s see these punks command the weather while walking on water….ah ha! Jesus FTW!

You have to overlook the multiple levels of wrongness to appreciate this video. Taiwan’s national sport is kareoke so in many ways this video doesn’t surprise me at all. But remove it from the bizarro world that is the Taiwanese music scene and you are faced with the cold hard facts…that this little boy is singing, and singing well a Whitney Houston cover that’s the gold standard of vocal ability for all our divas. It makes me feel akward, uncomfortable, intreagued and has me reaching for Kevin Costner all at the same time.