“Prone to wander, Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the One I love”

From the first time I really listened to the lyrics of Come Thou Fount, I found myself drawn to this line. I love the raw honesty and vulnerability it shows. It recognizes the weakness within and the foolishness of a “Peter-like” mentality when he promised to follow Jesus even to the death. Let me explain this a little clearer:

Galations 5:16-17 says:

16 “So I advise you to live according to your new life in the Holy Spirit. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. 17 The old sinful nature loves to do evil, which is just opposite from what the Holy Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are opposite from what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, and your choices are never free from this conflict.”

What this passage is saying is that without choosing to live according to the Spirit, we are setting ourselves up to give in to our old cravings. I have to recognize that I am not above sin. As much as I know that I am never going to leave my God, or deny Christ… I am just as prone to wander as anyone else in my own human efforts. I have to choose to live according to the Spirit and His desires. In a single moment of weakness, with one wrong decision, I am prone to wander. The crazy thing is that I am so excited at this truth. I love that I have to depend on Him everyday. There is a constant battle within me and that is not a sign of inadequacy or failure. The battle gives me a constant opportunity to prove my love by my obedience. Every time we choose to crucify our sinful deeds, we prove our love.

I am prone to wander. But I am now fully aware of the battle within myself and I know that I have to keep myself in fellowship with the Holy Spirit in order to keep myself above reproach.

“Thank you Lord that You have given Your Spirit as a means to put to death my sinful cravings. That You allow the battle of flesh v. spirit to take place in order to give opportunity for the Spirit to have daily victory. I know that I am weak and prone to stray, but in my weakness, You show Yourself strong and faithful and victorious. All for Your glory, Jesus. “

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When I first started dating my husband about nine years ago, I would write letters to him everyday, sometimes 2 or three a day. Some were for him, some were just about him. Most I would keep in a shoe box and save for a later day. I would write to him in class and leave it for him in the locker we shared. I couldn’t wait to check it after the next period to see if he’d written back yet. In the letters, I could say what I truly wanted to tell him, whether declaring my “undying love” or just letting him in on what my day consisted of while we were apart or venting to him about whatever crisis was ailing me. Those letters got me through so many days. And they kept my heart turned toward him. It sounds cheesy and childish I know, but at the end of the day, today in fact, I’ve learned an interesting truth - What is a song but a letter set to a melody? What are the Psalms but the heart of David written and sung? “Words immersed in music can touch places in our hearts that nothing else can reach.” (Excerpt from Lisa Bevere’s book, Kissed the Girls and Made Them Cry).

Ephesians 5:18-19Ephesians 5:18-19
English: American Standard Version (1901) - ASV
18 And be not drunken with wine, wherein is riot, but be filled with the Spirit; ¹⁹ speaking one to another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord;  

says this: “Be filled with the Spirit. Speak to one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart for the Lord.”  All of a sudden, I am taken to the old movies where a lady sings about her affections for her beau to a group of her friends crowded around listening to every word.  I have experienced that. There are a lot of songs that have made me think of my husband and how much I adore him. Just yesterday I was listening to “The Truth” by India Arie. The chorus says this:                                                        Cause he is the truth
Said he is so real
And I love the way that he makes me feel
And if I am a reflection of him then I must be fly because
His light it shines so bright

Just thinking of my husband and singing these words awakened a love for him within me.  Ephesians tells us to sing our love for God to one another. Worship doesn’t only keep our eyes set on Him… it keeps our hearts turned towards Him. He is “enthroned in the praises of Israel” (Ps. 22:3) He is exalted to His proper place in our lives, both as King and as the object of our desire, through our songs.

This lesson has challenged me in the area of my writing. What has been my motive? To write a catchy hook with unpredictable lyrics? Obviously, those are important aspects - creatively.  But the simplicity of honest praise/worship is as easy as a letter. If I can write pages and pages about my feelings toward a man who has the ability to disappoint and cause pain, then surely I can write about a God who never fails and with whom my heart is completely safe - Whether  it be about our undying love, or whatever might be ailing me at the moment, whether to Him or about Him. And if those words can fit well in a melody with a catchy hook and unpredictable lyrics… well then, I’d say that’s a recipe for a freakin’ good song!

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