Somehow this bottle of magic Miracle Gel came into my possession, don’t ask me how. I can’t believe I’ve lived my life all these years without this incredible product. Apparently it contains the very essence of God itself plus additional natural minerals, organics and eloptic energy(see below) if God’s anointing just isn’t enough for you. Better safe than sorry I suppose. All for the low low price of $16 per bottle! Before you run off an order you own bottle of Miracle II Neutralizer Gel, let me share some priceless details.
You can rest easy because Miracle Gel comes “pH – Supernaturally Balanced“, but the real genius is on the back of the bottle.
Transcript of the ingredients:
Contains: Prayer – Electrically engineered eloptic energized stabilized oxygenated water – Ash of Dedecyl solution – Calcium – Potassium – Magnesium (Carbopol) And the Anointing of God. Miracle II contains and holds spiritual and eloptic energy beyond measure for a miracle for your body.
For those of us who aren’t crazy and didn’t already know, eloptic energy is harvested from the stars. Why settle for anything else really? I demand star power in all my neutralizing gels!
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what was wrong with the formula for Miracle 1?
My sources tell me 2 reasons. They were unsatisfied with the amount of star juice they got into Miracle 1, and while they were harvesting more star power they figured they might as well stuff more prayers into it.
Miracle 1 is more for minor miracles…healing colds, minor lacerations, headaches, that kind of thing. Miracle 2 is safe for cancer, severed limbs, that kind of thing.
This product is made in the city that I work and do ministry in. People buy this stuff to put in their coffee, use it as soap, and do all other sorts of things with it. It's crazy, but I know the company has been under tax investigations for years and years. They have a huge facility but it only seems like there is 3-5 employees. He's making a killing though…huge Yellow Hummer outside of the facility. It's a bit bizarre.
Man…some people work all their life on really cool stuff and never see a decent reward. Then a guy goes and stuffs clear gel of prayers and pixie dust in a bottle and makes a killin. I need to get back and read Ecclesiastes before my head explodes.
Hey when I was young I thought I could get a tan by taking really hot showers. We all have some shame in our youth